They called me Martha.

21 Jun

martha stewartLast night, I found myself at the Baltimore Gay Pride street party. It was after a long day indoors at Baltimore Barcamp and a nice after-party at Brewer’s Art. My BFF and I, dressed alike, as we often find ourselves in some mysterious sort of way, were headed out of Baltimore and back to the ‘burbs on a Saturday evening when we saw the street party.

“Hey, let’s stop by. They’ve got a DJ and some dancing. Let’s check it out,” I offered. Adventurous and curious despite her Suburban veneer, my BFF said, “Yeah, let’s.” (Or something like that … I’m just condensing for story-telling sake.)

baltimore gay pride street festival pic by spike55151We got a most-excellent, if not on-the-edge-of-illegal, parking spot and headed on over. It was nice. Heavily Baltimore with its blue-collar roots and deep urban feel, but a sweet event in any case. I’m sure my BFF and I were causing our own degree of curiosity, with our matchy-matchy outfits, our big suburban handbags and our “They sure don’t look gay” vibe.

Several hours later, as we starting heading back to my car, a guy asked me, “Hey, are you going to dance in the street at the red light? Lots of people run out and dance before the stopped cars.”

Hah. Daughter of Eileen and Jim Newburn, dancers from the day they met til now, I said, “Sure,” and promptly headed out into the street.

I can’t say exactly what happened next. I only have my experience plus the story-telling of those who witnessed it, but apparently my  appearance in the street caused a rapid and mass convergence, wherein in I was in the center of the group, dancing with a young woman who beelined her way to me. We danced, she and I, with a charged group dancing and shouting around us.

As the light turned green and our insta-dance party broke up, I heard a lot of good-hearted laughter. And then I heard this: “She’s like Martha Stewart.” Then it echoed, and I kept hearing murmurs of “Martha.” Even “Hilary.”

There are times when I’m reminded of how suburban and middle-aged I am, and this was one of those moments. I like to think of myself how I feel: young, curious, a little cool/hip/chic. Alas, the Baltimore Gay Pride street dancers saw me in a different light: They called me Martha.


6 Responses to “They called me Martha.”

  1. slcohan June 21, 2009 at 4:46 pm #

    There’s a whole lot of other things they could have called you. Strong, smart women all.

  2. Mike June 21, 2009 at 5:36 pm #

    Jess, I had no idea what to expect with that story title. Hilarious! You are certainly hipper than, Ms. Stewart. I can guarantee she don’t hoop.

  3. Maria June 22, 2009 at 4:14 pm #


    You are way cooler than Martha. Behold, I gave you the evidence:

    A) Way better blogger and Iconic Gen X’er (of course)
    B) Much better taste in all things retail therapy–i.e. your fab shoe finds
    C) You can hula hoop circles around Ms. Stewart
    D) You save turtles on the side of the road; Martha would probably use them in a soup recipe.

    • JessieX June 22, 2009 at 11:46 pm #

      Aww, shucks, Maria. I think you’re right. I just might be cooler than Martha Stewart. 🙂 You too, in case anyone were to wonder, simply by virtue of your Inventory of Self rather than Inventory of Things. Martha’s got the Things category down pat. You’ve got Self.

  4. annathema June 23, 2009 at 8:22 am #

    I can picture this perfectly, and it made me smile. I love that you can laugh at yourself – I don’t think Martha can!

  5. Lani June 28, 2009 at 12:57 pm #

    That is a great story – I can picture myself doing something like that and I am older…. You did that for alot of us and I thank you! 🙂

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